Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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