My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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