hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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