Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
