I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
