Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
