I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
