I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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