11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sorry about my life...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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