That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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