i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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