i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
