If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize