Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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