went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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