You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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