I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
