I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
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you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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