If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
