Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
