you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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