Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
