OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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