If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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