Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
