Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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