My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
do herpes really smell.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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