the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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