she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Im part way to drunk.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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