im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize