I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
