just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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