what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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