I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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