can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
