some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
