shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
