And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
