The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
