So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
