my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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