Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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