it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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