they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
