White coat. Heels.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
