she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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