Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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