If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
