I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My life is pants optional.
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