There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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