You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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