on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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