I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im holly from the hills drunk
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
