Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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