I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
