You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
