I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize