you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You can't motorboat a personality
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
