More tranny stories later!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
